Winsor Law Group Blog

Written By: Mark A. Winsor

I regularly teach an ethics class for Realtors®.  In it I ask the question, “when is it ok to lie?” Immediately several voices will echo with “never.” I then encourage them to think deeper about this question by giving some specific examples. Your kids are bugging you for treats and you tell them you don’t have any treats even though you have goodies stashed away to share with friends who are coming to your home later that evening to play games. Is it OK to lie to your kids? Years ago, I walked out of my office and heard my assistant tell someone on the phone that I wasn’t in. I looked at her, then looked at me, and then looked at her again with gestures and a look on my face as if to say, “did I wear my invisibility cloak today?”  What if she would have said I was unavailable, even knowing I was? Is it ok to lie?

A Geico commercial features Abraham Lincoln with his wife who asks, “does this dress make my backside look big?” It makes me laugh every time I see it!  Is it ok to lie? I personally don’t think so.

At this point of my ethics class, some of the Realtors begin to disagree with me. You may as well. But where is the line? I do understand that there are some situations that justify lying. For example, a detective for the Drug Enforcement Agency wouldn’t protect society very effectively without deception. Can you imagine if during a sting operation a drug dealer asks, “are you a cop?”  If one believes that it is never justifiable to lie, then the officer is in deep trouble. But that extreme example isn’t where the problem lies in society; and there is a problem.

Justifying so called “white lies” weakens integrity and casts a shadow of doubt over trust. Where is the line? If you justify lying over “little things”, will you justify protecting yourself by lying over a “little bit bigger thing.”  Will justification for “white lies” in one area of your life spread like cancer to other areas of your life? I’m grateful for the mutual trust in my marriage built on a commitment to not justify “white lies.” It has strengthened my integrity in every aspect of my life, including my businesses.

Many may disagree over where the line is between an undercover detective’s deception, which is justified, and business fraud or marital cheating, that is never justified.  However, I believe that society would be much better off if that line were moved more towards avoiding “white lies” and striving for integrity.

*The information provided in this article is of a general nature and reflects only the opinion of the author at the time it was drafted. It is not intended as definitive legal advice, does not create an attorney-client relationship, and you should not act upon it without seeking independent legal counsel.